First of all, I’d like to apologise for the language in the title, but this is a very personal post, and all will become clear later on.
Why has my F**ck fuse blown? Well, a lack of decision making has lead me to write this point. I was seriously ill last week when my arthritis flared up badly, leading to me being unable to move at times, and relying on family to help me with a lot of tasks.
However, it was during this time, that I started, very unusually, to feel sorry for myself. I can assure you, that feeling sorry for myself is an incredibly rare occurrence, and creeps up on me, but this time it came up and punched me right on the nose!
The feelings of being useless, not a good person, and a million other feelings came flooding into my mind so fast, I literally felt I’d gone 10 rounds with Floyd Mayweather.
I started to become dependent on my family, instead of fighting the pain, and found myself crying at night, when my daughter was asleep, feeling she’d be better off without me. That Friday evening, about 10 p.m, while watching a film, the penny dropped, and that was when my f**k fuse finally blew.
How it happened, is something I teach my daughter, and other students, but I plum forgot myself. I just sat and decided to meditate.
By meditating for five minutes, I saw that what I was feeling, I had allowed to manifest itself, and by just remembering to live in the moment, and enjoy life’s gifts, I’d gone back to a time, when, like most of us do, I let everything affect me, and it was then my f**k fuse blew, and I instantly stopped caring about the stuff I’d been worrying about, which was making me feel so much worse.
By not giving a damn about how lousy I was feeling, and concentrating on listening to the sounds of the world passing me by to relax me.
The result was that all the weight, guilt and ill feeling I’d been carrying about myself disappeared, and was replaced by a feeling of warmth, happiness and renewed purpose, and some of the physical pain I was in also left my body.
Now, it didn’t leave my body entirely, but without a doubt I was in less physical pain, as a result of being in less emotional turmoil.
Will meditation work for you? Yes, it will, and will focus your mind on what is truly important to you, and give your goals clarity, and, most importantly, will give you renewed energy to achieve them, and it will also stop you from worrying about what does not matter.
In other words, it will blow your f**k fuse, and help you be calmer, and more happy with that wonderful person that is you.